Without My Angel (poem)

I know an angel
She sits in Heaven watching over me
Though there are times I wish she were here
I know, with her as my angel, alone I’ll never be
But there are days
When I miss her so much
I miss her soft voice
And her gentle, loving touch
I miss her smile
I miss her laugh
And I plead with God
To let me have her back
But how can I ask God
To let go of an angel like her
When the only reason I want her back
Is pure selfishness, I’m sure
I don’t want to let her go
Afraid of forgetting the angel that once lived
But I’m jealous she’s with God
And not here with me
Doesn’t God understand that I need her
I need her knowledge, her advice and love
And to feel her embrace
Gentle as a dove
She’s no longer in my life
I can’t hear her voice
I can’t let her go
But it seems I have no choice
I can’t hold on
And live in the past
But I can’t let go
For life is moving on without her too fast
I would give all I have
To see her one more time
To give her one last hug
And to be able to say goodbye
Though I know she’s watching over me
My own angel in the sky
Can she ever forgive me
For not being there one last time
I wanted to die from the guilt I felt
So filled with anger was my heart
How could she leave me
How could God tear us apart
She gave me so much
I took for granted that she’s always be there
I’ll never understand why God took her away
My selfishness screams, “It’s not fair”
I want to scream
I want to cry
I want my rage to reach the heavens
Sometimes I want to die
I miss her so much
And don’t know how the world can go on
How can life continue
When its brightest angel is gone
She was everything I hoped to be
Smart, beautiful, and strong
But how can I learn from her now
When that tender angel is gone
She is my angel
Watching from Heaven over me
But do I make her proud
Or is a disappointing sight all she sees
Life is not the same
The world is a little more dim
Greedily, God wanted her in Heaven
To be an angel to the world next to him
So how do I come to terms
With the aching in my heart
How do I heal the wounds
Of a soul that’s been ripped apart
How do I know that
Over me in Heaven she’s smiling down
How do I know that
I have not let her down
I pray she knows
I pray she sees
I hope I make her proud
As she watches over me
I find little comfort
In the knowledge that she’s here
Watching over me from Heaven
So far away, yet so near
She is my angel
Sitting in Heaven, watching over me
And, one day, I’ll see her again
And unhappy I’ll no longer be
 
By:  Carrie Leigh
10.13.03
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6 thoughts on “Without My Angel (poem)”

    1. I had a lot of anger after my grandmother (who this poem is about) passed away. It took me a long time to get over that, but I have come to believe the same thing. She is still with me everyday.

      1. I went thru a lot of anger also; about my father. I learned it’s part of the grievence period. Anger is one of them. I’ll never forget my father. I think my father really takes care of me in heaven.

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