Unhealed Grief (poem)

There are days that pass
without a single thought
or a single moment when my heart,
like new, rips apart
No matter how much time goes by
No matter how healed I think the wound
Sometimes I feel like God
took you home too soon
How my heart was broken
and how my anger raged
as I faced a cold world without you
on that hot summer day
My world lost its life
The sun lost its light
My heart was frozen with sorrow
My hope was buried in perpetual night
I screamed, I cried, I raged and yelled
I knew I would never laugh again
How could happiness ever be found
from a world you were no longer in?
My heart stopped beating
I forgot how to breathe
I was no longer living
Just a shell of who I used to be
How could the world continue
When you were no longer here
How would I ever be happy again
When I’d lost what I held dear
When we lowered you in the ground
I wanted to jump in, too
Let them bury me in the dirt
because surely I died with you
Weeks passed before I smiled again,
before the tears stopped flowing everyday
The raw wound eventually stopped bleeding
and the guilt slowly faded away
Lots of late nights talking to the clouds
hoping that you’d hear
before I learned to smile again,
before I could feel you near
I could feel you there
as I said, “I do”
I could feel you when I became a mom
I could hear you in the caring words of a friend
the night I finally returned to God
My heart still missed you
The tears still sometimes fall
But someday I will see you again
and joy will replace it all
 
By:  Carrie Leigh
08.27.14
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