Finding the lost spark

Last night as my husband and I were laying in bed I asked him when the last time was that we’d had a good ol’ fashioned make-out session.  Take a moment to think back to the beginning of any relationship you’ve had.  There was something glorious and about just making out.  I’m not talking about foreplay leading to sex.  I mean just sitting on the couch while some stupid show play on the t.v. in the background, or the never-goes-out-of-style making out in the car.
I’m not trying to gross you out or be all pervy.  It’s just that last night I realized that my husband, somewhere along the way, have misplaced that spark that all relationships start with.  Our intimacy has fallen into a routine of quick pecks before falling into a snoring slumber.  After almost 10 years of marriage our conversations are mostly, “how was your day?” and “what’s for dinner?”  We have fallen into a comfortable rut.  That may be why I turned to another man almost 3 years ago.
I will admit that I got bored in my marriage.  There was nothing exciting left, I thought.  We both worked so much and then had to come home and be mom and dad to our son.  At the end of the day there was nothing left for the husband and wife.  So I turned to another man.  I turned to someone who wanted nothing from me.  I turned to someone that for a little while made me forget that I was a wife and mom.  With that man I was just a woman.  It felt nice to be just a woman.  That “relationship” went on behind my husband’s back for almost 2 1/2 years.  It ended in February of this year when God held a mirror up in front of my face.
Since February I have struggled to let go of the things that were toxic to my life and to my marriage.  It has been difficult, but things are turning around slowly.  I’m not proud of who I was, but that girl is dead and over the last several months I have started getting to know the Carrie that God wants me to be.  He is slowly restoring my family, bring us closer to Him and to each other.
Part of the restoration to our marriage is, of course, intimacy.  Hence the realization last night that we have not had a good make-out session in ages and ages.  To restore what has been misplaced we must strip it down to where we started and rebuild our marriage.  We have to rediscover what it is about each other that we fell in love with.  We have to find the man and woman that are beneath the “mom and dad” and the long hours at work.
God showed us both the road to each other 10 years ago.  Somewhere along that road we got lost.  God is the one who will get us back on the road to Him, and to each other.
Until next time . . .


2 thoughts on “Finding the lost spark

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