Nice to meet you. I am not June Cleaver.

Oh, the life of a married woman.  As a little girl we imagine a gallant man sweeping us off our feet.  We imagine birds singing as we dance around merrily with nary a care in the world.  We imagine a June Cleaver life where  there is only happiness and perfection and freshly baked cookies.
We think like this because of Snow White, Cinderella, Ariel, Belle, and the myriad of other Disney princesses that we were raised on.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again, life is NOT a Disney movie.
The moment the wedding dress comes off reality sets in and the fresh-faced bride realizes that there is no magical, singing teapot or adorably chubby mice to help us wind our way through the ways of being a wife.  It’s a struggle to go from single and completely independent to attached-for-life.
I know . . . I’m making marriage out to be some nightmare from which every woman should run screaming away from.  Despite the way it sounds that is not at all how I feel.  Marriage is a blessing.  To find that one person in the world that can tolerate, and even love, your quirks and idiosyncrasies is a miracle.  Some people search their whole life without finding that person.
But any good marriage will have it’s ups and it’s downs. 
I love my husband, but right now I am ready to punch him in the throat.  Why the sudden urge for violence?  Well, because he and I have barely seen each other for the past two days.  We finally both have a night at home together without our son, (he’s staying the night at his babysitters house), and rather than trying to enjoy our time together he’s doing the dishes and working on a shorted-out extension cord.
When I pointed this out to him he blew me off and went back to what he was doing.  Sometimes he hears, but does not listen.  It’s frustrating.
It would be really easy for me to say, “but I made sure I was home for you tonight.  I made sure we had a nice meal.  Me.  Me.  Me.  Me.”  But marriage is not about my husband OR me.  Marriage is about my husband AND me.
I spent two years (or more) pushing him away from me that we are having to find our way back to each other again.  It’s hard.  It’s frustrating.  It would be super easy to go back to the life I was leading behind his back eight months ago.  But I don’t want that life anymore.  I want the man I married ten years ago.
We will find our way back to that eventually.  Of that I have complete faith.  It will just take time.
Marriage is not about Disney movies.  Marriage is finding the love even when you want to throat punch your spouse.
Until next time . . . 


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s