God is ready for you

faith

I started a new bible study workbook Sunday night.  As I began reading the first lesson it said that to get the most out of the study you need to already be a believer.  And then it outlined 5 verses for the unbeliever as to why they should give their life to Christ.  I accepted Jesus as my savior in March but  read through those verses, and they are still as powerful now as they were the day I believed with all my heart that Christ died on that cross to save me, to save you, to everyone.

I remember that the night before I prayed to accept Christ I went through all of the expect arguments.  I knew I was not good enough for God.  I have screwed up too much and made too many bad decisions.  I had led my life so far away from God that there was no way I would ever be able to find my way back.  Besides, why would God ever want me?  I had turned my back on him years before.  Why shouldn’t he do the same to me?  I deserved to have him tell me to go away, that he had given up on me long ago.

Romans 3:23-24

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

and all are justified freely by his grace

through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

For all have sinned . . . All.  Nobody is perfect.  Not your mom or dad, not your boss or best friend, not your pastor.  Not you.  For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.  But the good news is that when God created you he knew you would sin.  He knew everything you would do in your life before you were born.  Whether it is theft, adultery, drugs, or even completely turning you back on him God knew.  But never once did he say that you were a lost cause, that anything you could do could make him love you less.  God’s love for us is unchanging and unending.  We choose to receive the love that he is so ready to give us.  We choose to accept the redemption that came by Christ.

Romans 6:23

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God

is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Everywhere you look there are promises of longer life.  All is takes is a miracle pill or the latest fad diet and suddenly you can live the perfect and beautiful life that we all dream for.  God doesn’t offer a miracle pill or a fad diet.  But he also doesn’t say that your life will be perfect in him.  Yes, we will experience trials and tribulations.  But what God does promise is that through his son you will have eternal life.  When your time here on earth is done you will get to spend forever in the kingdom that he has set up for you and I.  For the person that is already a believer what you are going through here on earth is the worst it will ever be for you.  Things will only get better in heaven.  For the person that hasn’t yet given their life to Christ . . . your life right now is as good as it gets.  When your time on earth is done it only gets worse.  Eternal life at the right hand of God . . . what an amazing promise to look forward to.  And to receive that gift we don’t have to jump through hoops or change who we are.  All we have to do is confess with our mouth and believe in our heart.

Romans 5:8

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:

While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Have you ever loved someone so much that you would be willing to die for them.  John 15:13 says “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”  I can think of a few people off the top of my head that I would lay down my life for.  My husband, son, my parents, sister, and my best friend.  Without thought or hesitation I would die to protect them.  Is there anyone you would be willing to give your life for?  I’m sure that you very quickly think of some people who you NOT lay down your life for, people who have betrayed you or hurt you, people who are hateful or have turned their back on you, people who have said bad things about you.  God had one child, one son, Jesus.  In the old testament the price for sin was an offering at the temple.  But that wasn’t keeping people from going out and continuing to sin.  People learned that as long as they presented their burnt offering to the Lord that they would be forgiven.  And then they’d go out and sin again.  God wanted to offer to his people the ultimate sacrifice as a way to be forgiven for their sins.  God offered us his one and only Son.  Could you do that?  Could you give your child so that someone else might live?  You see, God never said, “I love my son too much to give him to people who may not even accept him.”  God said, “I love my people so much that I will show them the way to eternal life and salvation through my son.”  Jesus was the first and ultimate example of the forgiving and healing power of God.  If God could raise Jesus from the dead after three days, bring him out of the tomb and raise him up into heaven then what can God do for you?  He can heal your heart, shine light into your darkness, find you when you are lost and bring you home to him.  He can save you.  He wants to save you.  You just have to be willing to reach out your hand to him.

Romans 10:9-10

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,”

and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead,

you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe

and are justified, and it is with your mouth

that you profess your faith and are saved.

There is no specific magic prayer, no set words, no recitation and suddenly *poof* you are saved.  There is also no specific location that makes you more saved than another place.  Just because you were on your knees in prayer in a church does not make you more saved than a person sitting on a sidewalk outside a bar praying the same prayer.  I found salvation in the floor of my church on a Sunday morning, but came face-to-face with the possibility while in my studio on a Saturday night.  All that matters is that you declare with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and sincerely believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead three days later.  God hears you no matter where you are at, and God knows what is in your heart.  You could be in your car on the highway in the middle of nowhere, or in the middle of 10,000 people at a loud concert.  God will hear you and God will know your heart, and God will give you his greatest gift . . . the promised gift of his salvation.  God never goes back on his word.  He said if you will confess with your mouth and believe in your heart then I will raise you from the death of your sin and give you eternal life . . . and he will.  All you have to do is pray.

Romans 10:13

for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

There is nobody on this earth who has not sinned.  You could say, “Yeah, but my sins are so bad that God would never want me.  My sins are unforgivable.”  There is no sin that is unforgivable.  There is nothing that you could do that would make God withhold forgiveness from you.  You know why?  Because God knew everything you would do in your life before you did it.  If God led you into something that he knew he would not be able to forgive you for then that would mean that he doesn’t love you, that he doesn’t want to see you spend eternity with him in heaven, and that is not true.  Luke 12:7 says, “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”  If God knows every hair on your head and says that you are worth more than many sparrows then don’t you think that God can forgive you for anything you have done.  He knows every hair on your head.  He knows everything you have done and said.  He loves you, and He wants to forgive you.  But you have to want his forgiveness.  God wants to show you have to grow, mature, and thrive through him.  “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'”  (Jeremiah 29:11)  “I know the plans I have for you . . . ”  That means he knew all you would do before you did it, and he knows all you will do in the future.  There is nothing that you can do that will make God turn his back on you.  He is the light in your darkness.  All you have to do is turn to him.

Matthew 6:33-34

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,

and all these things will be given to you as well.

You may read Matthew 6:33 and wonder what “all these things” are.  Matthew 6:25-34 says “‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?  And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.'”  The Lord knows everything that you need and will provide for your needs as he always provides for his children that seek him and his kingdom.  When you were a child your parents provided for all of your needs.  They made sure you had clothes, that you had shelter, that you had food.  They did this because they loved you and that is what parents do for their children.  God the Father also provides for the needs of his children because he loves them.  All you have to do is trust him, have faith in him, follow him, give yourself to him.  He is waiting for you.  Your parents stayed up on weekends waiting for to make sure you made it home safely after a night out with your friends.  God is waiting up for you waiting to make sure you make it to his kingdom.  God does not give a curfew like your mom and dad did, but he is ready and waiting to welcome you home with open arms.  You can wait and tell yourself that you aren’t ready yet, that you will wait till a better time to give yourself to God, but also know that there are so many people who decided to wait and ended up waiting too long.  There are people who never made it to the kingdom of heaven because they thought they had more time.  Tomorrow is never guaranteed.  God is ready for you today.

When you are ready pray with me . . .

“Dear Lord, I know I am a sinner.  I believe that only through your son, Jesus, can I find my way to you.  I believe that Jesus was born of a virgin, lived a sinless live, died on the cross for me, and was resurrected and raised to heaven three days later.  I am ready to take my place next to you in the kingdom of heaven.  Lord, please forgive me for the things that I have done.  Wipe my slate clean and give me a fresh start.  Through your son I am reborn as your child.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen.”

If you prayed that prayer and believe with your heart then welcome to the family, my new brother or sister.  You are now a child of God.  I could not be happier for you.

faith hope love

The journey does not stop here though.  The journey never stops.  If you sincerely accepted Christ as your Lord and savior then your next step is baptism.  Through baptism our old life is washed away and we are truly made new in the Lord.  It is visible proof of our spiritual rebirth as a child of God.  Feel free to contact me and I will do all I can to help you in your journey as you grow in your faith.

I pray you have a blessed day!

Carrie

(All scripture text is NIV translation and courtesy of biblegateway.com)

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Life, death, praising Him in the storm

I’m sitting in my studio right now thinking about the passage of time and how unexpected events can change lives so quickly and so completely.

2 p.m. today will mark the one-year anniversary of the EF3 tornado that struck Brookport, Illinois.  We all knew bad weather was coming but nobody could anticipate what would happen on that warm Sunday afternoon.

before tornado

Brookport is a tiny little town.  They don’t have a gas station, grocery store, or even a stoplight.  But somehow a terrifying force of nature found that little dot on the map and destroyed it, taking the lives of three people with it.  A co-worker and good friend of mine lives in Brookport and one year ago I sat in front of the t.v. and watched the storm get closer.  I watched as it threatened my town.  I ran to the basement of my mother-in-law’s house with my husband and son as we waited for the storm to pass.  When we came back upstairs we saw on the news that the storm had skipped over the river and hit Brookport.  I immediately panicked, jumped in my car and drove as fast as I could to check on my friend.

I met her about 10 months after I moved down to Kentucky in 2001.  She and I have been through a lot of up and downs in our lives together.  She is like another mom to me.  I had to make sure she was alright.  But I couldn’t get into the town.  By the time I got there the Sheriff was already blocking the road and restricting entrance into the town.  I frantically called, texted, and prayed.  Finally I heard from her.  She was shaken up and in shock but she, her husband, and son were alright.  Their home was thankfully undamaged, but others in her town were not so lucky.

the southern dot com

(image courtesy of thesouthern.com)

cnn dot com

(image courtesy of cnn.com)

after tornado

To look at Brookport today you wouldn’t guess that a tornado ripped through there one year ago.  Debris has been cleaned up and hauled away.  Lots that used to have homes on them now just stand vacant and being reclaimed by nature.  The residents are still scarred emotionally, and some of them physically.  Today the wound in their heart will have the band-aid ripped off when, at 2 p.m. the bell in the center of town will be rung three times in remembrance of the three lives lost one year ago today.  They are healing and one day this day may be able to pass without it hurting as they remember the day that a random Midwest tornado outbreak found their tiny little corner of the world.

Today also marks one week since my church lifted a member up in prayer.  We all found out last Monday morning that he had been in a very bad car accident and had to be airlifted to Evansville, Indiana for treatment of his injuries.  A couple of hours later the lives of his wife, children, and our church were changed forever as we found out that he did not survive.  Quickly everyone rallied around his family to offer comfort and prayer.  The congregation came together that night to pray for his family.  Saturday his memorial service was held, led by our pastor.  In moments of pain and tragedy it’s difficult to think that anything good may ever happen again, but yesterday our pastor told us that during the memorial service on Saturday 8 people prayed to receive Christ into their lives.  Even in his death the man that we lost from our church was still helping to shepherd people to Christ.  If that is not reason enough to praise Him in the storm I don’t know what is.

kfrog dot cbslocal dot com

(image courtesy of kfrog.cbslocal.com)

Today is truly a day to remember the lives lost a year ago and a week ago, and to be thankful for the lives and souls saved through those tragedies.

Until next time . . .

Carrie

My testimony

I’ll be honest and tell you that this post is proving difficult to write.  My brain and fingers have both told me that I need to write something today, but this is the third attempt.  The previous two attempts met their fate with the delete button.

Like many people I have the Time Hop app on my phone.  It’s a fun little app that lets you see your Facebook and Instagram posts from this day over the last several years.  Usually I just laugh at the dumb stuff I post . . . song lyrics, goofy conversations with my friends or my son, silly pictures . . . stuff like that.  The last few weeks though I have been dreading the posts that I knew were coming from my past.

Sunday marked one-year since I decided to go full-out in pursuit of a relationship with the drummer.  His real name by the way is Bobby.  Prior to meeting Bobby I had been in a physical relationship with another man for a year and a half.  Then one night my husband and I went to watch a co-worker play bass with his band.  Sitting in for them on the drum kit was a young man that, when he played, exuded energy and sexuality.  I was taken in from the moment I saw him.  The relationship between my husband and I had grown weak over the previous couple of years so I was ripe for temptation.  And, boy, did I succomb.  My world became so wrapped up with Bobby that it is only through the grace of God that my husband did not leave me.  It has not been easy to leave everything from the past year behind me.  It is never easy to let go when you have convinced yourself that you are in love with a person.

One year ago I went to work to run the board for a football game on my radio station.  I went home and took a nap and then woke up to get ready for my overnight volunteer shift a the local Lions Club telethon.  Before I went to the telethon location I lied to my husband and told him that I was leaving early to watch the telethon from the audience.  What I actually did was leave the house so I could go to a bar and watch Bobby play drums with a band that he was a member of.  Bobby knew I was coming.  He invited me to come watch him play.  I went out of my way to find a super adorable outfit, paid extra attention to my make-up, and sprayed an enticing scent on myself.  I was on a mission to let Bobby know that I was available to him.

I was the only one of his friends to show up to watch him play that night.  I sat in a spot in the audience where he would be sure to see me and didn’t take my eyes off of him the whole time he played.  In between sets he came over and sat with me and I flirted with him.  After his second set I had to leave to go the telethon.  I sat in my car and sent him a Facebook message telling him that I had a good time and thanking him for the invite.  We messaged back-and-forth for the next 26 hours.  Twenty-six hours!  It started out as simple flirting and allusions to my attraction to him, and ended up with us making plans to get together for lunch the next day.  I lied to myself a year ago and  said that it was just two friends getting together to spend their lunch together.  Today, a year later, I can say that it was a date.

We met at the agreed location for our lunch date and he met me in the parking lot with a hug.  If I hadn’t already decided it I knew in that moment that I wanted to be with Bobby.  We sat and talked for the next hour and a half.  I remember hoping that he would kiss me, and was a little disappointed that he didn’t.  I did get two more hugs and I was on cloud nine.  A few days later my conscience started to get to me.  I started trying to pull away from him.  Why?  Because I knew that I would fall in love with him if I wasn’t careful.  I wasn’t looking for somebody to hook up with on occasion.  I was looking for a relationship with him.  But there was one little detail . . . I am married and have been since October 29, 2004.

Most guys would chalk up my behavior over the next few weeks as me just being a typical crazy woman.  That is not typical behavior for me though.  I can see now that I was acting crazy then as a subconscious attempt to push him away from me because I knew that he was bad for me.  But conscious and subconscious got in a fight and the conscious won.  Bobby overlooked the crazy behavior and we became pretty good friends.  But strong feelings don’t die quickly or easily.

Over the next few months we became close friends, we’d have lunch together, text each other, I’d go watch him play.  If I was nothing else to him then I was his loyal and devoted fangirl.  But I always wanted and hoped for more.  Through all of that was more lies to my husband.  I would tell him that I had to work late or that I was meeting Brandi to hang out.  On New Years Eve I ran out on a chance to ring in the new year with my husband and son.  I told him that I was going to Brandi’s house to hang out with her and some other girls.  What I actually did was go watch Bobby play with his band again.  I spent a lot of time lying to my husband, and spent a lot of time not caring that I was lying

Then a night in February that changed everything . . . the night my friend Brandi sat with me at the station.  I had been feeling for several weeks that change was coming in my life but I couldn’t explain what kind of change, nor the source of the feeling.  All I knew what that something had to give in my life.  I woke up that morning knowing that change was coming that day.  I know now that the Lord was speaking to me, but I just didn’t recognize his voice.

Brandi sat in the studio with me at the station as I ran a basketball game and essentially pleaded with me to turn my life to God.  I tried to make excuses like, “He wouldn’t want me because I have messed up so much, ” or, “I need to fix some things in my life before I am good enough for God.”  How many people have said those words?  How many people have missed out on heaven because they thought they had messed up too much for God to forgive them?  Brandi, in tears, told me that God wanted me in that moment exactly the way I was, that I didn’t need to change to find him, that he would change me in his own ways and in his own time.  I tried again to resist the pull that had already started in my heart.  I tried to tell her about Bobby.  She already knew, and then told me that God wanted me anyway.  How can somebody refute that?

After she left the station that night I fixed my makeup and went to watch Bobby play at yet another bar, but as I sat in the dim room with loud music pounding in my ears I knew I was where I didn’t belong.  In my back pocket was a poem that I had written for Bobby and I had every intention of giving it to him.  After his second set the poem was still in my pocket as I ran out of the bar.  The change in my heart had already started but it would prove to be a long road.

The next morning I went to church with Brandi and every single word that the pastor spoke seemed aimed right at me.  To say that I felt God speaking to me would be an understatement.  I could feel God yelling at me.  I could feel him grabbing my hand and pulling me forward to him, away from the dark.  I could feel him fighting Satan for me.  I could feel him pleading with me to open my heart to him.  I couldn’t ignore him any longer.  When the pastor did the invitation I prayed and gave my life to God.  I was baptized the following Sunday.  What a beautiful and amazing experience!  There are no words to describe what that few seconds of my life meant to me.

Over the next couple of weeks I knew that I needed to get rid of all the things in my life that were trying to continue pulling me away from God.  That meant I had to tell Bobby goodbye.  What a hard fight that proved to be.  Just because God says “this is what you must do,” does not mean that it will be easy for you to do.  You just have to have faith that God will lead you through it.  Despite my new-found faith I still resisted what I knew I needed to do.  I thought I could just shut off my feelings.  By that time I knew I was in love with Bobby.  Feelings like that don’t just shut off like a light switch.  I got together with him one warm March afternoon and told him that I needed to straighten somethings out in my life, that my head was all mixed up and I needed to get it back in order.  He didn’t take it well.  He got angry.  He said some hateful things and that got me angry and made me say some hateful things back to him.  I had hoped that he would understand and give me a little time, but I knew before I got together with him that afternoon that he would react the exact way he did.  He tried to make me feel guilty by telling me that I was his best friend, and that he always knew I would walk out on him just like everybody else had done to him.  It’s sad now to be able to look back and see the way Satan was acting in my life to try to pull me away from what God wanted for me.

Two weeks . . . that’s how long I lasted before I mailed him a bundle of papers that included poems and blog posts that I had written about him, and a letter asking him to forgive me.  Yes, I was asking him to forgive me for trying to put God in my life before anything else.  That in and of itself should have served to show just how messed up I was at that time.  He accepted my apology and things went back to the way they had been . . . texting, getting together for lunch or dinner, and me being his loyal fangirl.

But the thought was always in my mind that what I was doing was wrong.  My pastor has said that what we call a gut feeling is really the Holy Spirit talking to us.

I had tried rationalizing the relationship.  I had tried telling myself that I was where God wanted me to be.  After all, God always brings people together for a reason.  I tried ignoring that thought that always lingered in my head that I needed to walk away from Bobby.  I was still lying to my husband.  I was also having to lie to my friends because they thought I had gotten him out of my life.  If you can’t be honest and open about what you are doing then you don’t need to be doing it.  I knew that then and still tried to justify what I was doing.  I was lying to myself as much as I was lying to everyone else because I was doing what I wanted instead of what I needed to do.

Then came the night in June . . .

I went to watch Bobby play at a local restaurant.  I was such a regular when he played that the wait-staff always made sure to keep “my” table available for me.  Between sets Bobby and I talked, we laughed, we joked and played.  It was a good night.  When he was all done for the evening we walked together to our cars and stood in the parking lot talking.  He told me in great detail about his “adventures” with various girls that he had hooked up with.  Before I realized what was coming out of my mouth I told him that he needed to help me find a new guy for . . . well . . . you and I both know what I wanted Bobby to find me a guy for.  In that one sentence I had completely reverted to where I was that night in November.  What Bobby said in response to my statement is what hit me like a ton of bricks as I drove home that night . . .

“What about your new-found faith and trying to be a better person?”

As I drove home that night I begged God for probably the 7-millionth time to take Bobby out of my life.  I finally recognized and owned what his influence did to me.  I was able to admit to myself that everything about that relationship was wrong and not what God wanted for me.  I prayed for God to give me the strength and ability to finally walk away for good.

I didn’t contact Bobby for three weeks.

On my way home from my bible study group I texted him to see if I could stop by.  I thought I was alright, that I was beyond everything, that I had grown and gotten strong enough in those 3 weeks to be immune to him.  Yeah, I was wrong.  For the most part he ignored me while I was at his house in lieu of his Skype session with his girlfriend.  I left knowing that I should have never gone there and with more resolved to get him out of my head, heart, and life.

I backslid 2 more times . . . in late September I sat across the street from an outdoor venue he was playing at and just listened to him play and then in mid-October I went to a restaurant he was playing at.  I sat through his first set and talked to him for a few minutes during his break.  I have also texted him a couple of times.

Bobby is the biggest weapon of temptation that Satan uses to pull me away from God.  I am getting stronger each day, but I know that for now I have to remind myself each day to stay away from him.  One day there will come a time when I won’t have to remind myself of that.  God has heard my plea to remove Bobby from my life.  He started that work almost from the minute I met Bobby.  At first I didn’t recognize it as God’s work.  Then I resisted what God was doing.  I have finally given it over to God.  I am weak and know that alone I can not resist the influence of Bobby over my life.  But with God I can do all things.

I am like a recovering drug addict.  For many months I thought I was controlling the temptation, but the temptation was controlling me.  I thought I could walk away from him anytime I wanted, but I was too weak to resist the temptation.  I thought there was nothing wrong with the lies to my husband and friends because I told myself that I wasn’t really hurting anybody.  I thought that going to watch Bobby play or sending him a text was harmless.  But any drug addict will tell you that it only takes just one more time to be caught in the downward spiral again.

This post has taken three days to write . . . one year and three days, actually . . . but it was a story that needed to come out if for nothing else than my own healing.  Now that it’s out I can once and for all put it behind me.

Until next time . . .

Carrie

A look back over T-Rex’s first year

I meant to do this on October 30th, but between work and church time has just absolutely gotten away from me.  So here I sit, a week and a half after A Tale Of A T-Rex celebrated it’s first birthday, finally looking back on it’s first year of life.  And what a year it has been.  The posts over the past 12 months have seen a lot of things . . . anger, love, joy, forgiveness, wonder, peace, heartbreak, and growth.  So today I am here to remember with you some of my favorite posts over the last year.

My Musings

10.30.13  Nice to meet you . . . The post that started it all.

11.02.13  Ahead of the game . . . Carrie v.s. birthday shopping

11.14.13  Giving thanks . . . Showing my thanks for the important stuff in life like toilet paper, antibiotics, and the remote control.

11.26.13  Renew perspective through my mom’s eyes . . . Just when I was about to give up on my book my mom said just the right words to renew my goal.  Aren’t moms the best at encouragement just when we need it most.

12.30.13  Lessons . . . Some things I have learned in my almost 38-year journey through life.

01.21.14  Don’t overthink it.  Just write . . . Among the best advice I have ever gotten, and I’ll bet that the speaker of those words has absolutely no recollection of ever saying them.

02.02.14  Shadows in the clouds . . . What an amazing and prophetic night that turned out to be for me and for my relationship with God.

02.03.14  Dear Friend . . . A missive to my best friend.

 02.16.14 The winds of change . . . God was working in my life.  I didn’t know it was Him, but I could feel it.

03.13.14  Rebirth day . . . One of the greatest days in my life.

04.23.14  Unequipped armor . . . A lesson I learned about going into spiritual battle unprepared.

04.23.14  My ink pen has a-d-d . . . random thoughts from Carrie’s brain . . . Part 1

06.03.14  Random thoughts from Carrie’s brain . . . part 2 . . . Because one post of random thoughts just wasn’t enough.

06.30.14  Saving Martha’s Vineyard . . . God always provides for those who do His work.

07.20.14  A letter to me . . . Something that everyone should do at some point.

09.30.14  Toilet paper trivia . . . Getting to know me one square at a time.

09.30.14  Wonderfully and fearfully made . . . We are God’s greatest creation.

10.14.14  How can I pray for you today? . . . A question we should all ask more often.

Short stories

11.05.13  Broken Fairy Tale . . . My best friend and I were going through a difficult time and my insecurity made me feel like I was losing him.

11.06.13  Breaking Hearts . . . Another story inspired by insecurity and my best friend.

12.10.13  Cut . . . A short story from my book.

03.18.14  Their End . . . A short story of fiction that became somewhat prophetic.

09.29.14  Music In The Shadows . . . The story may come to an end, but the music sometimes still plays on.

Poems

11.05.13  Scrapbook Memories . . . During a particularly bad fight my best friend and I did not speak for about a month.  I wondered if we would ever speak again and mentally mourned the friendship.

11.10.13  Glance Into The Sun . . . That first feeling of attraction.

11.12.13  Hiding Eyes . . . The eyes say more than the mouth ever can.

11.16.13  Who Are You? . . . Love makes us question everything.

11.20.13  My Pen . . . Yes, it’s an ode to a writing utensil.  I’d be lost and voiceless without my pen.

11.21.13  Lost . . . I wrote this after the tornado in Moore, OK in May, 2013.

12.01.13  The Quiet End . . . Sometimes love pisses you off . . . badly.

12.22.13  Boisterous Girl . . . A moment when I was letting another person control how I saw myself.

12.25.13  Dying . . . Sometimes my poetry is more honest with me about people than I can be with myself.

12.27.13  Two Scared . . . Another poem inspired by a disagreement with my best friend.

12.28.13  Pride . . . Even baseball fans write poetry.

12.28.13  Real? . . . A good friend of mine lost her son in a car accident.  I had known him for years.  His death still sometimes seems like a dream.

12.29.13  The Beast . . . Another moment when I was letting someone else control how I saw myself.

01.10.14  Searching . . . I didn’t know what I was searching for until I found it about a month and a half after I wrote this.

01.20.14  Broken . . . Sometimes a girl just has a really bad day.

01.28.14  My Heart . . . I may not be made of sugar and spice, but this is what I am made of.

03.12.14  Reborn . . . Pretty self-explanatory.

03.19.14  Temptation . . . My fight against want I knew I had to do versus what I wanted to do.

03.28.14  God’s Flight . . . I did not sit down to write this poem.  This is what came from my pen when I sat down to write.

04.09.14  The Last Next . . . Sometimes there is no next time.

05.20.14  Minute . . . We are never guaranteed another minute.

06.10.14  Waiting . . . We are always waiting for something.  We are waiting our life away.

06.13.14  Dance . . . Sometimes you just have to.

09.04.14  Goodbye To Nothing . . . People struggle with goodbyes, but sometimes it turns out that there is nothing left to say goodbye to.

09.05.14  Praying . . . The Lord wants us to go to him with anything and everything, to pray in good times and bad, when we’re thankful and we’re scared.  He is always listening.

09.10.14  Teach Me, Lord . . . Asking the Lord to make me his empty vessel to fill up with Him.

09.18.14  To Dream . . . We’ve all had dreams that just seem SO real.

I hope you enjoyed this little trip down memory lane.  I look forward to seeing what the next year brings in my life and in my posts.  I hope that you continue to join me for the next exciting adventure of A Tale Of A T-Rex.

Until next time . . .

Carrie

Let go (poem)

I fought to make you part of my life
Then I fought to let you go
You were all I could see
You were all I wanted to know
Yours was the only music I wanted to hear
You were the only person
I wanted in my life so near
I wanted to give you all of me
I wanted to give you my heart
I wanted to be consumed by your eyes
Two lives made one in every part
How I wrapped my life around yours
How I jumped in so blind
How I risked everything
for what I can finally leave behind
My eyes are clear and open
My heart no longer in your hands
Once you were all I wanted
I slipped away like wind blowing sand
I don’t look back with anger
There is no hatred in my heart
You and I were simply what was
Something temporary meant to part
A year later I can finally let you go
Let the curtain come down on that act of my life
We were a chapter that reached its end
I can finally tell you goodbye
By: Carrie Leigh
11.04-05.14