**drops mic**

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For someone that fears changes as much as I do there are some big changes coming in my life that I actually initiated.
I am quitting my job.  I am leave my radio station.  I am killing my on-air persona.  I am hanging up the headphones.  My mom says I am retiring, but since I am only 38 years old I have a really hard time using that word in relation to my choice to leave my chosen profession.
3 1/2 years ago I went to work for Froggy 103.7 in Murray, Kentucky.  I am the production director, and midday girl.  On air I go by the name Heather McRibbits.  Before going to work for Froggy I spent 11 years working for 105.5 The Cat and 106.7 WZZL in Paducah, Kentucky, and was on-air under the name Heather Stevens.  Before that I went to Broadcast Center in St. Louis, Missouri.  Before that I dreamed from the age of 14 years old about one day being in radio.
And soon that dream will come to an end.
In about a month I will intro my last song, I will hit that last post, I will wish a hoppy day to my final Froggy Friend of the Day.  I will shut off the microphone, unplug my headphones, walk out of the studio, and just like that it will be over.
Everybody that already knows about this has asked me the exact same questions: “Why?”  “What are you going to do now?”
I’m leaving because standing behind the radio station pissed off and crying within an hour of getting to work (everyday) is not a sign of a good work environment.  Bringing home the stress from work and taking it out on my husband is not good for my marriage.  Missing almost every school event because “mommy can’t get out of work” is not good for my son.  Putting work above EVERYthing else in my life is not good for me.  Something had to give, so I have alleviated the source of the problem.  I’m alleviating the radio station.  I take that back.  The source of the problem is me.
I am a workaholic.  Ever since I made the commitment to marching band when I was 14 years old and learned the discipline needed to maintain that commitment, and the pride I had in myself for doing my best in that commitment I haven’t been able to slow down.
I am a yes-girl.  If my boss needs me to stay late, come in early, work on my off-day I am there.  I grumble and complain to myself and my husband, but I do it because I like to feel needed.
My commitment has been misguided.  I am needed at home.  It took me too many years to see that.
Plus there is one more reason that I am leaving the radio station:  God.  Since March of last year I have caught myself thinking “I wish I had more time to get into The Word.  I wish I had more time to devote to my Bible.  I wish I had the time for God that He has for me.”  And if there is one place that God is not present, where God is seemingly unwelcome, it is my radio station.  I’ve spent the last 16 months feeling like I’m having to be two people:  daughter of God when I’m not at work, and the complete opposite when I’m at work.  Jesus said, “But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven.” (Matthew 10:33, NIV)  I have no urge to stand before God and have to answer for why I denied Him for 50 hours each week.
I don’t know what will happen.  I have no plans as of right now.  I’m sure I’ll get another job doing something that doesn’t involve giving away free lunch combos to caller number 10.  I’m hoping to turn my creativity back inward so I can focus more on my writing.  My job at the radio station is to write and produce creative commercials, so when I get home at night there is nothing left in the storehouse for me.  It’s taken me 3 weeks to be able to sit down and write this post.
Deep down I always knew that my career in radio would not be long, but I never planned for what I would do once it was over.  Yes, I am a little nervous about what the future holds, but this whole year so far has been one lesson after another about stepping out in faith, and for a girl who fears change this is the biggest step so far, and I’m looking forward to it.
Until next time . . .

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