So it seems that my post yesterday about trying to get fired from my job was almost prophetic. I almost got fired today. It was all because of my own behavior at work. I have been less than cooperative while training the new production director. That is my own issue though, not his. I was called into a meeting this morning with the general manager and the program director and my behavior was help up in front of my face like an ugly mirror. It made me realize that I have mentally stepped into the role of the wife of our former general manager. She was constantly saying we could never change promotions or procedures within the station because, “we’ve always done it this way.” I have become her, because with all the upheaval in the last month and a half I just want something to stay the same.
But how can I expect the revamped Froggy to move into the future if I’m not even willing to move into the future?
Recently at church my pastor said something that I not long after ended up having to put into practice in one of my personal relationships. “We can’t control someone’s action, but we can control our reaction.” I need to put that into practice at work as well. I have been able to control my reaction to the new program director, but my reaction is not what it should have been. Had I been him, and been getting trained by me, I would have told me to “f**k off” several days ago.
I have apologized to him, and to another co-worker that my recent actions have negatively affected, but I still feel guilty for my behavior at work. I wouldn’t want others to treat me the way I have been treating then, so why is it alright for me to treat others that way? It’s not.
Getting a mirror held up to your face kind of sucks when you aren’t prepared to see your reflection, and today that mirror almost got me fired.
Until next time . . .