It has been over a month since I have posted anything.
It is wonderful sometimes.
Nothing new has happened in my life since my last post. Things are going well. I’m keeping busy with church, with classes at school (perhaps I did take on a bit too heavy of a load this semester, but I’ll get through it). Things are staying on an even keel, so I definitely can’t complain.
I am thankful for the everyday mundaneness (is that even a word?) of my life right now. I work. I go to class or do my homework. I watch tv. I go to church. I spend time with my husband and son. Life is quiet, predictable, and simple. Life is good.
I like the sound of that. Life is good.
Life wasn’t always good. I searched in many wrong places for what I thought would make life good. I searched out the wrong people that I thought held the secret to making my life good. I wasted a lot of time over the years searching for a life that was good. It turned out that “good” was always there. I was searching for better. I was searching to fill a void that I didn’t even realize existed. I was searching for the magic cork to seal my empty soul.
Life can’t be good if your soul is running on empty.
But then I found the cork, if you will. Or, rather, I was found. That void in my soul was a God-shaped void, and he found me at church one morning in November, 2015. He tied a string around my heart and pulled me to him. (That makes it sound like I was a steer that got roped by a heavenly cowboy!) Then that night while sitting in a gold chair in my pastor’s living room the empty void in my soul was filled as only God can do. My life has not been the same since.
Giving my life to Christ has not made my life easier. Birds don’t always chirp. I am not always walking on a perpetual rainbow of joy, love, and happiness. But in those moments when life is dragging me down I always know that God is there to pull me back up. He pulled me up from my darkest moments.
I spent too long in a very dark period. I hurt the people who were closest to me, all of which is chronicled in the earliest posts of this blog. I was not a good person. I was a liar. I was an adulterer. I was a sinner.
Today, I am still not always a good person. But I have God’s love and forgiveness. I have the forgiveness of those I hurt. I have forgiven myself. I am not defined by the mistakes I made. I am defined by the love that God has for me. I am a sinner, and I am a loved and redeemed child of God.
Life is good.
Until next time . . .