I found this, and you can download the .pdf at www.lavendaire.com.
This is supposed to be a thirty-day journey of self-discovery, but I tend to lose focus (and motivation), so I am going to break this down into five days. On each of the five days I will answer six of the questions. I would love for you to follow along with me, and even perhaps delve into your own journey of self-discovery.
Day one: Monday
- How do I feel at the moment?
Honestly . . . I feel bored. I am on vacation from work this week, and I’m not quite sure what to do with my time. My normal week consists of working Monday through Friday, and then various church commitments in the evenings. This week there is no work to be done. I should be taking this opportunity to sit back and relax, maybe binge on some Netflix, and I actually feeling a tinge of anxiety because I feel a little lost. I don’t know what to do with my quiet time. I’m not used to not being at work. A day or two off work I can handle. But even on those days off I am generally busy with church or a family activity. But this is a whole week. I don’t know what to do. Maybe that is a sign that I am too busy.
- What do I need more of in my life?
As evidenced by my answer to the previous question, I think I need more down time. I need more time where there isn’t always some form of noise, distraction, or “pressing need.” I’ve gotten so used to always being on-the-go that not being on-the-go causes a certain amount of anxiety. I logged into my work computer today from home and actually did some work, even though there is a person at the station that is completely capable of covering for me in my absence. But I did it to relax and feel somewhat in control, even though the point of a vacation is to relax by not doing work. I feel unneeded at the moment, and being unneeded scares me more than just about anything.
- What would make me happy right now?
Traveling always makes me happy. I enjoy exploring new places, eating where the locals eat, shopping at goofy touristy shops, taking tours, learning about local culture and history. There is a great big world outside of Paducah, Kentucky, and I want to meet explore all of it. I want to see the sunrise in the mountains, and the sunset on the beach. I want to go to county fairs and church bazaars. I want to meet the mom and pop that still run the local restaurants and general stores. I want to have lunch with the man or woman who knows everything about their community and learn the stories that aren’t in the history books. I want to get lost in the world, and find myself on the highways and byways, the dirt paths and gravel roads. I want to carve my initials in trees wherever I go as my silent by definite mark on the world. When people ask where I have traveled to, I want the to be easier to say, “where haven’t I been.” I want to be a nomad, a gypsy, a woman whose home is nowhere and everywhere. I want the story of my life to be illustrated with funky postcards and small-town kitschy souvenirs.
- What is going right in my life?
My marriage is going well. I give my husband plenty of reason to lose his patience with me, but even after thirteen years of marriage, he and I are still going strong. I have an amazing twelve-year-old son who rarely causes any trouble. He’s strong, independent, and is comfortable with himself. My work life is secure and the team we have in place right now has meshed well and is in place to continue to grow and improve more each day. My walk with Christ is not where it should be, and that is something I talk complete responsibility for, but I remind myself daily that at least I am not where I was four years ago.
- What am I grateful for? List at least 10 things.
There is the easy and obvious stuff to be grateful for: my family, my job, the roof over my head, my health, my salvation.
Then there is the less obvious things that I am grateful for. I am grateful for the pictures on my walls because they remind me that I have made precious memories with my family. I am grateful for the hugs I get from people at church because they remind me that I love others and am loved by others. I am grateful my sense of exploration because it reminds me to always see things as if for the first time and never let things get old or taken for granted. I am grateful for my past and even the bad mistakes I have made because, without those experiences, I would not be who I am today. I am grateful for my love of written words, because words allow me to paint a colorful picture in an imagination in what can be a dull world, tell someone that I love them in a moment when they feel unloved, and speak in moments when my voice occasionally escapes me.
- When did I experience joy this week?
I teach two Sunday school classes at church. The kids in my classes range from four-years-old to twelve-years-old. All of the kids have been on Spring break this past week. The first thing we do in class each Sunday is to take a few minutes to talk about things each person did during the past week. Yesterday each child excitedly regaled me with stories of how they spent their Spring break. Some of the children stayed home and spent their week playing outside or playing video games. Some children got to travel with their family. But no matter how each child spent their week, they all got excited when it was their turn to tell their story. I love hearing children get excited about something and being able to see their experiences through their eyes.
- List all my small victories and successes.
- What’s bothering me? Why?
- What are my priorities at the moment?
- What do I love about myself?
- Who means the world to me and why?
- If I could share one message with the world, what would it be?
- What advice would I give to my younger self? (Do I follow this advice now?)
- What lesson did I learn this week?
- If I had all the time in the world, what would I want to do first?
- What’s draining my energy? What can I do to reduce or cut it out?
- What does my ideal morning look like?
- What does my ideal day look like?
- What makes me come alive? When was the last time I felt truly alive?
- Who/What inspires me the most? Why am I drawn to those inspirations?
- Where does my pain originate? What would need to happen for me to heal?
- What are my strengths? What am I really good at?
- What is something I’ve always wanted to do but was too scared?
- What is something I would love to learn?
- What hobbies would I like to try?
- Where would I want to live in my ideal life?
- Where would I like to travel in the next 5 years?
- What can I do to take better care of myself?
- When have I done something that I thought I couldn’t do?
- At the end of my life, what do I want my legacy to be?
Until next time . . .