Baggage

I have a set of scripture-prayer cards.  I received them as a gift this past Mother’s Day, but have not given them much of a look.  If you’ve read my last couple of posts then you know that I am struggling a bit with who am I and what I am supposed to be doing.

Today I opened up the box and read the card that right on top of the deck . . .

The verse on the front side of the card is Romans 5:1:  We have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. (KJV)

The backside of the card instructs to “make a list of everything you can let go of because you live in God’s peace.  Then crumple it up, throw it away, and thank your Savior for that relief.”

I will admit that I have not had peace with God the last couple of months.  I have been at war within myself and have not turned to God to find comfort, or to ask him to calm the turbulence within me.  So, in all actuality, I have not had peace because I have been holding myself away from God.  You can focus on God when you are focused on yourself.

So, back to the “b side” of this prayer card.  (Sidenote:  does anyone even know what a “b side” is anymore?  Here’s your pop culture history lesson for the day.)  I am supposed to make a list of everything I can let go of because I live in God’s peace.  Then I am supposed to crumple it up, throw it away, and than God for that relief.  I can’t very well crumple up and throw away a digital list that is posted on the interwebs, so you and I shall simply cross that bridge when we get to it.  So, here it is:

My list of stuff to let go of because I live in God’s peace

  1. Anger
  2. Rage
  3. Temper
  4. Need for complete control
  5. Fear
  6. Harsh thoughts and words toward my family
  7. Harsh thoughts and words toward my friends
  8. Harsh thoughts and words toward myself
  9. Negativity
  10. Codependency
  11. Insecurity
  12. Lies about my value as told by my father and step-father
  13. Belief in those lies
  14. Lingering lack of trust in God
  15. Lack of submission to God
  16. Lack of submission to my husband
  17. Bad attitude

I’m sure there is more that needs to be added to the list.  After all, humans love to do nothing more than carrying baggage with them everywhere whether we realize we are doing it or not.

Will I be able to lay all these things down at once?  Honestly, probably not.  But I will open myself up to God and let Him work in me rather than trying to do it on my own.

My pastor said something recently that really screamed at me.  He told us that single day God looks at us and says, “do you trust me?”  Some people have no problem answering with an enthusiastic, “yes!”  Others vehemently declare, “no!”  Then there are the rest who want to trust each day, are able to trust some days, and struggle solely with themselves through the days where there is no trust.  That final group is the category I fall into.  So that is where I will start.  When God says to me each day, “do you trust me,” I will answer “yes,” and then He will take care of the rest.

Until next time . . .

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