Giving up the fight

This morning I am pissed.  I know it's Christmas Eve and I should be full of the Christmas spirit.  I should be making merry, eating Christmas cookies, frolicking while listening to joyous Christmas songs, and everything should be covered in gift bags and festive wrapping paper.  But today I just can't. Yesterday I put up …

Identity loss

I am getting a wonderful and unique opportunity that not many people get in their life.  I get the chance to decide again what I want to be when I grow up. Remember when you were a kid and everyone would ask you, "what do you want to be when you grow up?"  You'd tell …

Haunted Dreams (poem)

So long gone So many yesterdays ago Only to return in a flood Leaving damage that only I'll know Where have you been hiding How did you remain unseen Why did you come back to haunt me where I couldn't escape you, in a dream Why did you taunt me with words I've longed to …

Six and Two

Grief is a difficult experience to work through.  Everyone experiences grief differently.  When someone is working through grief we often like to jump in with words of advice that we hope will comfort the person.  "Don't cry because you lost the person.  Smile that they were in your life to begin with."  "Time will heal …

Self-destruction (poem)

History always repeats itself Life on a loop as we make the same mistakes that we swore we'd never do As we're edging ever closer to the inevitable end Life is just a showdown Life is no longer lived What will become of prayers, hopes, and dreams What are we creating building a world on …

Ocean (poem)

So deep are you, Ocean A blue that never ends Depths that can't measured Moved by turbulent winds What have you seen, what have you done, endless Ocean, as you reach so far Where do you go to find your rest when your waves are at war What is there to embrace you when the …

Thunderstorm ahead

Tonight is one of those nights . . . sleepless, restless, chain-smoking, mind-all-over-the-place . . . I'm sitting in bed and typing this on my phone. Little bitty keyboard and Vienna sausage fingers . . . forgive me now for any hideous typos. I don't know that I have anything to say, but this seems …

Spew forth the word-vomit

Forewarning:  I have a feeling that this particular post is going to be a like a geyser spewing forth.  It's going to be forceful and largely unproductive.  The meanderings of a brain needing to word-vomit.  I don't really have anything to say, but the fingers have that need-to-write itch. I am exhausted today.  I am …

Nothing Left to Give (poem)

How do you give from an empty cup? How do you refill what you lack? When everybody wants something from you, how do you get it back? When emptiness takes its toll, and exhaustion builds each day. When what once brought you joy is now a target of rage. When tears are at the ready …

That day is not today

Abusive relationships . . . when most people think of them they immediately think of domestic violence.  But that is not always the definition of an abusive relationship. One year ago I sat on my couch and wrote a letter.  I placed the letter in a stamped and addressed envelope.  That envelope went into the …